101 Ways to live through corporate presentations

1. Try to take notes – though no matter how hard you try, you’ll be lost in no more than 10 mins.
2. Finish as many caffeine cups as you can.
3. Move your toe inside your shoe as a form of some oriental exercise to improve blood circulation, concentration and blah blah.
4. Look at the executive you hate from across the room and imagine how you’d want his stomach to be fried.
5. Look at the pretty lady sitting a couple of seats from you and admire her anatomy while still pretending absolute involvement in the proceedings of the house.
6. Look at the ponytail of the sales guy from Antarctica and wonder how long will it take you to grow it and whether you’d resemble a simian or a human.
7. Mumble your favorite swear word in your native language.
8. Fantasize about the exquisite dinner of daal-chawal that you’ll have to cook once you reach home and the pots and pans you’ll have to wash before that.
9. Feel smug while looking at the obscenely overgrown pot belly of that sales guy from God-knows-where.
10. Anticipate when your boss is going to look at you and look like most absorbed at those precise moments.
11. Compose and post your newest entry on blogspot.
12. Plan for the weekend that’ll start as soon as the current god-forsaken exchange of ideas finishes.
13. Savour the really good speakers that take the stage intermittently.
14. Meet, look and sound excited and indulge in small talk with the guy sitting next to you – though you don’t know if he sells in Timbuktoo or Chinchpokli.
15. Curse yourself for starting this post with the promise of 101 ways while your ideas seem to get exhausted at 15 (if you do count this one).

Well, that's pretty much what I am able to gather right now. May God throw me into more and more presentations and may I keep finding more and more creative ways to live through them.

Amen,

Lallan.